Carstianity

Like several of my puns, this one’s made its way around the Internet. Someone submitted it to the Car Talk website, where it was attributed to a different author until a sharp-eyed fan called my attention to it. Click and Clack’s webmaster graciously gave me credit and added a link to this website. The Ford works in mysterious ways.

“Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo.”
Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here
In the name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton.
I’m speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.
He is the Alfa and the Romeo.
He was born in a Ranger,
He was Tempo’d by the DeVille,
And he Daihatsu’d for your Sentras.
He said, “Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged.”
“If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos.”
“Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor’s Whitewalls,
“But turn the other Cherokee, ’cause
He ain’t Chevy, he’s my Beretta.”
He ate the Last Supra, and He climbed the mount of Cavalier,
Where he was Cruise-controlled on the Motocross.
But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes,
Didst Rolls away the Stanza.
Let us Prelude:
Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible,
In the 23rd Saab,
“The Ford is my Chauffeur.
I shall not Walk.
He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals.
Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart,
I shall Fiero no Eagle.
Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me
Audi Daytonas of my life,
And I shall Dwellmeter in the house of Delorean,
Four-cylinder.”
Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo!
GM.

20th Annual O.Henry Pun-Off
May 4, 1997
© 1997 by Steve Brooks 
(512) 440-7668
[email protected]
www.stevebrooks.net

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